Housekeeping

Since some time ago I've been struggling with this thought of taking more advantage of the kids in housekeeping. I use the verb struggle because it is a true revolution of thoughts that is taking place in my head. The point here is that I do involve them in what I do but not as an assigned responsibility. Sometimes they help me to separate clothes for laundry, to sweep, to cook, to fold their pajamas, to water the plants, but it's more like a fun activity than a responsibility that has to be done constantly. Sometimes I do ask them to do something to help me out, but generally I get stressed with other stuff and I don't take the necessary time to come and supervise that
  it was well done. Sometimes I just exasperate and end doing it by myself. Mario tells me very often that I burden myself with too much and that the children can help now and that I should delegate them more housework. I agree with him, but being a perfectionist woman, it's very hard for me to get out of my schemas and  to accept  those kind of challenges. "How do I clean the kitchen with the children between my legs?, what activity do I give to them without letting it to mean double or triple extra work for me?, why do I pretend to make them help if in fact we'll make more messes and if it'll take longer?, I think it's better for me to hurry up, do everything very quickly, and then to have free time to be with them and do more productive stuff… although I really need help with so many things that I have to do… I feel frustrated of not having enough pairs of hands and that the children are not developing their maximum potential… I feel so tired that many times I don't feel like doing productive stuff with them…. what can they do while I work  so that they do not get in the way?" …those are the thoughts that overwhelm me and fight inside me.

Some days ago we had our home educator moms meeting  and it was very inspirational to listen about different experiences of children helping at home in several activities, and even about children who already have a job out of home with their parents and they make their own money. I got very good ideas and a fresh motivation. I thought that housekeeping can be a great alternative to arouse Pao's interest, who many times doesn't want to work in his books or gets bored very soon when he's sitting quietly. That very night I decided that I would start to introduce a new responsibility for each one: Mati to wash the breakfast dishes - activity once dominated will be a relief for me indeed; and Pao to help with laundry - to separate clothes by color and to watch the washer machine and change the clothes to the drier machine. The first day we put it into practice, I repented of not having done it before! Mati is a perfectionist boy, just like me, and he is very concerned about doing things well, and he is very careful to follow the right procedures. I explained to him how to do it once, and after that he followed step by step all what had to be done. Of course the floor got a little wet and some dishes didn't approved the revision but in general, it really surprised me how well he did it. Pao was also busy separating clothes by color. It was a challenge for him to know if the clothes were "white" or "light", "bright" or "dark", since it is not separated by "color" literally. He spent all the time playing he was in a computer game and he said the instructions of what had to be done and then, he did it. When he did it right, he congratulated himself and sometimes he did it wrong intentionally and he said to himself "try again". It was very funny to see him. What I liked the most was the feeling they both experimented of knowing they were useful and capable of doing "important" or "adult" activities. All this week they have continued with their responsibilities and they are learning to do it better and better.

One of those days we also read the classic story "The wise little hen" in a book. I didn't find a version I like in the internet to share here, but I found this video of Walt Disney which I really like.

 

The story was very opportune because it served as a basis to reflect and talk about work. At the beginning we concluded that sometimes it is not very nice to work, but after that we said that when we work as a team and we try to enjoy our work and see it as a game, we finish sooner and we spend a very nice while. We also concluded that working always brings good rewards. In our case, the rewards of our work are to enjoy a clean and neat house and to have extra time to do the things we like to do together. I like very much that concept of "first what is first" and I'm trying to implement it at home. First we dedicate to some housekeeping activities and our responsibilities and then, we enjoy our free time to do other fun activities. Especially, I think that the big challenge is for me! to put in my mind that we really ARE a team and that the work has to be done as a TEAM, with all the implications that this conveys. It is much more comfortable to work individually, at one's own pace and reaching one's own objectives, but that leaves children out and does not contribute to their formation in any way. To work as a team, we have to be willing to train and to be good trainers, we need to be patient and tolerant and to accept others' mistakes. It's a great challenge for me, really!

However, it's a very weird but very satisfying sensation to realize that I can "be" in two places at the same time. Today I "was" washing dishes while I also was with Pao in the computer. I think that I'm starting to discover the true meaning of "reproducing yourself" in your children. I start to feel confident about Mati doing the work well and as I taught him, so that I can be released from that task and to concentrate in other one. It's as if I took some of my "power" out and I transferred it to him. It's a very different  and new sensation. I still need to work much in my patience and flexibility, in accepting that not always things can be perfect and to focus more in the inner achievements of each little person rather than in the external aspect of things. But I do feel happy about these little steps, finally, in this area of our lives.