Mom's eagerness*

In Spanish, we have a word that cannot be translated to English. It is "afán" It can be a noun or an adjective. It expresses application, strive, aspiration, wish, vehement yearn, diligence, rush, hurry, eagerness. I can say that I am "afanosa" which means that I have all those qualities. Or I can say that I have an "afán" to do things, which means that I want to do things in all those ways. I've been searching and I think that the best word I could find to translate this concept is "eager, eagerness" I'll use these two words whenever  I'm talking about the word "afán" or "afanosa" in Spanish. 

Moms are eager* people. When I read the definition of this word (afán) it reminds me of my grandma, my mom and myself! I had an eager* mom and she had an eager * mom who also had an eager* mom. It's as if someone were pushing our backs and never stops. Our movements are quick, urgent. As if we always were in a rush to accomplish something. Before getting married, when I still lived with my parents, I loved to get up from my bed on Saturdays and Sundays, get a cup of coffee, and get to work on my computer for a while, and then, come back to my bed - obviously undone.  My mom used to get upset because we didn't do our beds before getting to work. I thought to myself: "When I get married and  be a mom, I'll let everyone to do or undo beds whenever he/she wants" Now that I am married and that I am a mom, can you tell one thing that bothers me the most? Exactly! That beds are not done before starting to do something.

Why are moms eager* people? When I was single I was not that way! When I finally had in my hands the  whole responsibility of a husband and a house, suddenly something was activated inside me and I became alert, responsible, diligent… where were all those qualities hidden? I guess that all moms are good organizers as part of our equipment. We have so much responsibility that we need the ability to see the future and to anticipate the previous steps to achieve each goal on time - if we want to eat tomorrow, I have to defrost the chicken today so that tomorrow, when the children are busy in their activities, I can put it in the crock pot enough time so that it's ready for lunch.  Many times my husband complains: "why don't you calm down and rest today? Tomorrow will be a new day!" …yes, you know the answer... 

Moms are so capable that we can handle the husband, the children, the house and beside, some other personal projects. Some of them even have all that on their shoulders plus the responsibility of providing economical support to their home. However, there is stuff that has the ability to fascinate us and distract our attention from what is priority. Being a mom is not easy. It's an arduous task that has no rest days nor vacations. It can be so absorbent that we even feel as handcuffed without being able to do what we WANT, but only what we MUST. Therefore, the temptation of slipping away in activities less demanding or more pleasurable is very big. I, for instance, many times do housework while the children are roaming around and getting into trouble, so when it's bed time, I'm already free to do what I like. In reality, my inner motivations are selfish. I'm thinking on *my* free time instead of thinking on the children and how to invest more of myself in them.  Or sometimes, I have the intense temptation to put them a video while I read or write a little bit, instead of putting my computer or my book aside get a puzzle and spend a very productive time with them.

There are many activities that can distract our attention from what truly is priority: Housework, reading, looking and preparing materials for children's education, business and getting money, chatting or talking with friends, working in the computer, ministries, social work, and many, many more. I'm not saying that we must devote to children's care absolutely and forget about all those activities completely; or that because of being with the children the house becomes a mess, or that we never invest some time to supply us with information and new materials, or that we never call a friend to talk, or that we don't get involved in a ministry or social work, or that we don't do something productive that generates profits.

But I am talking about the attitude that makes all those activities divert  our attention from our true priorities. Many times, these activities are a pretext to slip away of what we have to do. It is much easier and much more pleasurable to turn our back to children and spend a while doing something fascinating, instead of facing our reality and do what we have to do. And even when we ARE with them, our mind is full of ideas, thoughts, eagerness* to do things, and worries that cloud over our sight and subtract efficiency from our work as moms.

When I'm really sincere to myself I conclude that many things I do, have to be put aside and some others do have to be done, but in less comfortable times. Sometimes I find myself cleaning the kitchen at 10:00pm, but with a deep feeling of satisfaction after having spent a very productive time with my children. I was not able to clean the kitchen during that time, but I don't avoid doing it: I do it in a less comfortable time so that I don't subtract important time from them.

Yesterday I heard a phrase that moved me very much: "woman is a partner of the Creator in the creation" What a responsibility we have in our hands! We are the channel that the Creator uses to carry out his creation! We cannot let our mind to divert in temporary pleasurable activities. We have a specific mission: to rise our children for a limited time and we are full of abilities and capacities to invest ourselves the most during that time. We'll have them with us for twenty five years at the longest, and after that, everything will remain in the portrait frames of our living room. Then we'll have much free time to do all what we didn't do now. Let us not forget our partnership with the Creator. Let us not see the past and lament all those hours invested in sweeping or moping or in vain conversations when they could be invested in listening to our children tranquilly, in laughing with them, in getting to know them better, in strengthening our relationship with them a little more.  
 

When I feel tired and without energy to continue, it helps me very much to think that this stage is temporary. It is a positive and negative motivator at the same time: in one hand, it makes me feel tranquil that all this chaos will pass and won't be eternal so I find the energy I need; and in the other hand it makes me conscious that all this wonder will also remain in the past, so I find enough motivation to make the most of every minute.

It's not easy. In fact, it's very difficult. Everyday we have to struggle against our own inclinations and the intense temptation of getting the kids "busy" on something so that we can be free to do what gives us pleasure. But finally, that's what reaching maturity means: to dominate our own impulses and submit them to the true priorities of this stage of life. For now, I want my eagerness* as mom be to organize myself and my environment better and better, so I have more free time to love my husband and invest myself in my children.